My 3-year-old son just said ‘Mummy please play with me’ and the pitch of his voice went up. There is now a question mark at the end of that sentence, no longer a full stop.
When did that happen? There’s already a little doubt in his mind – I might not want to play with him. A little insecurity.
Where did it come from..? Me.
It looks like I’ve inadvertently turned into one of those ‘can I just’ parents. Can I just do the washing up? Can I just finish putting the washing in the dryer? Can I just make our packed lunch?
Can I just have a moment, please, for the love of god?!
The answer is no, no, I can’t. Because when I stop working on autopilot and start living in the moment, start engaging in the here and now, playing with my children is infinitely more important than the sink-full of manky dishes. Obviously.
Yes, things have to get done. But inanimate objects don’t have feelings. The dirty washing is not going to end the day thinking ‘she doesn’t want to be with me’ or ‘I’m not important’. I’m gutted that it’s even slightly possible that when I say ‘can I just’ to Freddie, it’s adding another brick to the insecurity castle.
So what am I going to do about it?
Live in a sess-pit, playing lego on top of a pile of rubbish whilst smelling of cheese and BO??!?!?!
Errr, not quite. But I am going to say to the washing up – ‘Can I just play with my kids first?’